Should you care about beauty types when choosing your wedding dress?
What is the role of style systems in choosing a wedding dress... and beyond
This comment left a sour taste in my mouth, but I couldn’t really pinpoint why. Of course, what I do for a living is critique outfits and how they best fit the wearer - it would be hypocritical of me to then be annoyed when people do it back to me! And typically, I’m not bothered when people debate my hair colour, clothing or makeup choices because I completely see how I’m “asking for it” - and I think friendly critiques are fun, and interesting to learn from others perspectives.
With that said, a rule of mine that I always practised when I was doing client consultations is to not comment on the wedding dress (even when asked), because I have always understood that there is something different about that particular outfit. What bothers me about the comment is the the assumption that the purpose of my wedding dress choice is to please them, when obviously it goes deeper than that. Yes, I want to feel beautiful, but my wedding is not a show - to for my friends and family, and not for people on the internet. My wedding (and my dress by extension) is an opportunity to celebrate my love of my partner, my relationship, my friends and my family, and, in some ways, myself too. The dress I have chosen makes me feel how I want to feel - innocent, pretty, young, girlish, natural, and it reminds me of Arthur.
This opens up a wider conversation about the wider role of using style systems. It can be really tempting to your view style solely from the perspective of people looking at you. Of course, thats why we care about the beauty-based typing systems, because they help us look better - and who is doing the looking? The people around us? People at work? Our partners/potential partners? People on the internet? Learning what makes you your most beautiful can be a way to become noticed by all these people, which is part of the magic of it. However, it’s easy to go too far and make this the only thing you care about with your style. Just like my wedding dress, I like the rest of my style to feel personal - its like my style is a cobweb, and each of these style systems makes up one of the strands but not the whole web. And I (the spider in this metaphor) am the one who should be enjoying my web.
Okay, so, I know if I posted this on tiktok the first response would be “so why do you critique celebrities - if they like it, that’s all that matters”. It’s a fair question. My response to that would be: I am using celebrities as an example you are familiar with to show how these systems work. Some other creators in this space will say things like “x just needs to do this” whereas I try to go for “when x does this, it creates this look, and when she does that, it creates a different look”. For example, Florence Pugh’s short hair is not necessarily her most harmonious look - she looks her most timeless, classic, traditionally stunning with long, voluminous, rounded hair. However, she has short hair because of a movie where she shaved her head representing a mother with cancer - seems maybe more important, right? AND she is enjoying the slightly tomboyish, edgy look that she’s created with short hair - its not worse, she doesn’t need to change it, it's just a different feeling, and she doesn’t owe me anything - but I like to understand why it feels that way against her.
Which brings me to the current conversation around Millie Bobby Brown. I have seen many people use colour seasons as a justification for attacking Millie about her appearance. I am so frustrated by these people who aren’t using these systems with curiosity and kindness! Don’t get me wrong, I slip up sometimes, and my content is regularly misunderstood - navigating the language around beauty types can be really tricky, so I could understand that, but not these intentional digs at a young woman for not meeting their standards for how she is supposed to look.
What do you think? How do we discuss the effect on different beauty types with kindness and curiosity?
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People are not always great at understanding the difference between critique and criticism. I think you do a wonderful, nuanced job of explaining styles, essences, body types, etc. I'm glad you share your work with the world.
I love the way you describe the looks in the way that says "when she wears this, it portrays x y z." Not, she looks better in blah blah.
I'm using the style systems in the same way. When I want to feel confident, sexy I'll wear something slightly different to when I want to feel confident, compitent.
I personally love thinking in terms or archetypes. Who am I today? Goddess, wild woman, lover, mother, magical child etc in various degrees and proportions.
At the end of the day, consumers of your content will only be able to engage with it to the degree that they are educated and interested. Some people are stuck in the mindset of tearing others down is the only way to get a one up. And that's unfortunate but it's really not your problem. I think there's a fine line between explaining your systems in different ways until people understand vs constantly defending your systems against people who are purposesly or ignorantly being obtuse or just mean, from behind a keyboard.
Love your work. And wishing you such a happy time planning your wedding.
Love, Louise